The Secret to Making a Marriage Last

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down." So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the pool."

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but boy, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.